SPEED RACERS MACH 5 VS THE ORIGINAL BATMOBILE (ADAM WEST)

[Pumpkin_Man]

That may or may not be true, Kolchak, but did you hear that taudry little tale about the time Xena the Warior Princess kicked Chuck Norrises 'U-know-what?" That's right. It happened only a day and a half after the Superman Fight, in that same Octagon Arena. Xena challenged Chuck to a fight, and by the time she was done, chuck norris was in a coma. When he finaly came out of that coma, her side kick, Gabrielle gave Chuck Norris such a hard slap, it was even worse then the time the fan belt on his Doge Ram snapped and wipped him across the face. It left an inprint of her hand right on his cheak.

NARF NARF

Mike

[Kolchak]

Son!? What are you talking about!?

I WAS THERE!! I SAW THE WHOLE THING!! I HAVE PICTURES TO PROVE IT!!

Here's what REALLY happened.

Xena gets in the ring and she's bouncing up and down and acting all bad and mean.

Then Chuck strolls into the octagon and just stops and stares at Xena. Xena ceases with her histrionics and is completely and totally mesmerized at the sight of Chuck Norris.

Chuck winks at her one time....

Xena goes crazy and tears off all her clothes and runs over and lays at Chucks feet and begs Chuck to have his way with her. Chuck being Chuck is always attentive to the ladies.

He sweeps her up into his arms and carries her to the middle of the ocatagon and makes heavy and passionate love to her.

Xenas screams of delight can be heard over 800 miles away. When she and Chuck climax, it is registered on seismographs as far away as Mars.

At this point Xena says she will be Chucks love slave for life and she also calls Gabrielle into the ring and gives her to Chuck as an added bonus present. Chuck is to gracious to refuse so he says okay and takes Gabrielle home where he will use her as a late night snack.

This is why you no longer see Xena or Gabrielle out doing much. Their purpose in life is to keep Chuck Norris Happy and live to love the Man in Denim.

You have to quit listening to the ugly women that Chuck refuses to touch. They are the one making up lies about Chuck, but who secretly would sell their souls to spend five minutes with him.

[Pumpkin_Man]

Well, that's not what happened in the video footage that I watched. From what I could see, Xena couldn't stand the sight of Chuck Norris, but I can't dismiss your story completely. Xena was never attracted to bearded men, and if Chuck would shave, then Xena might have liked him a little. But Chuck's beard just reminded her too much of the Greek God of War, Aries, so she just had to beat him up.

Oh, and next week, Chuck Noris is going up against Barnabas Collins and Angelique. Barnabas Collins is going to use his vampire powers and Angelique is going to use voodoo to finaly defeat Chuck Norris, Superman, Batman and Speed Racer for once and for all.

NARF NARF

Mike

[Kolchak]

C'Mon Son!! Don't you know CGI when you see it? That's ALL that video was!! And very poorly I might add!

Chucks not worried about Barnabas or Angelique.

Chuck will wait for Barnabas to get out of his coffin and then Chuck will do a spinning wheel kick so fast, that it will cause the Earth's rotation to speed up and it will catch Barnabas in the daylight and that will be that.

Angelique has tried before to get Chuck under her spell. Nothing works simply because there are no other men like Chuck Norris, so she has nothing to base it on. Not to mention Chucks tough and cool demeanor exempt him from all voodoo potions, charms and spells.

But just wait until Chuck puts her under his spell. She'll be the happiest zombie on the planet.

[Pumpkin_Man]

I don't know about that, especialy since I heard there may be a suprise appearance from Quentin the wear wolf. Now surely not even Chuck Norris is any match for the wolf that walks like a man. But then again, Chuck does have Native American roots. Perhaps he can tame the wearwolf.... But we won't know until it's all over.

Mike

[Kolchak]

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a werewolf, and during the next full moon Chuck Norris turned into....CHUCK NORRIS!

Because nothing is meaner, tougher, bigger and badder than Chuck Norris.

Chuck now allows the werewolf to sleep at the foot of his bed. The werewolf brings in the morning paper and fetches Chuck slippers when Chuck tells him to.

The werewolf even cleans up his own ca-ca, because the werewolf knows that Chuck Norris refuses to take ca-ca from anybody!

[Andybev01]

So this is a thing, and refers back to the thread topic...partly.

If you have a spare quarter million burning a hole in your pocket:

http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=12197

[Pumpkin_Man]

Allthough I would prefer a 6 speed maunal overdrive transmission, I would love to have that car.

It appears to be build on the MKZ cassis, but I couldn't swear to that. It could also be build on one of the original Lincoln Contenental ot Town Car chassis, because it does sport a crate engine.

Mike